Textual Pornography

Dear anonymous Linear Algebra classmate,

First off, let it be known that I hate smoking and think less of people who smoke solely because of that. I think people would spend less money and have less severe long term health problems if their kneecaps were crushed with a crowbar each time they wanted a cigarette. Negative reinforcement would kill that little urge pretty quickly.

Thus, I find your anti-smoking slide show screensaver to be commendable in its goal; I must, however, question its effectiveness, and specifically the slide containing the text “my computer, my rules: no smoking.” First, we should get rid of the semantic argument that you’re using a school computer and not anything that could conceivably be considered “yours.” As such, you really have no right to determine who does and doesn’t use that computer.

Further, since the message is contained on your screensaver, it would only be visible to people who can view the monitor while you are logged in. Therefore, anyone who uses the computer when you’re not around would not be aware of your self-imposed smoking prohibition. Thus, I would recommend changing the message to “my account, my rules: no smoking,” since you control the password and can therefore determine who uses it and who doesn’t.

Speaking of which, when was the last time someone was smoking while using a lab machine? Last I checked, people smoking cigarettes in the non-smoking buildings was not really a problem anywhere on campus, and I have a sneaking suspicion that someone doing so would not be particularly likely at all to sidle over to the machine you’re logged into and attempt to access main program grid.

Not to mention that I doubt anyone would be willing to take serious, life-altering advice from a screensaver. It seems to me that, even if they were in the unique position to be able to view your monitor while the messages were active, they would be unlikely to, well, care. If they haven’t stopped smoking already despite all the propaganda out there, I strongly doubt that they would heed the stern reprimanding of an image that lasts ten seconds on a random computer screen.

So, in conclusion, stop being a moron. If you really want to do something about smoking, get a firehose and douse the people who stand in the doorways of the academic buildings and light up.

Regards,
someone hurting for journal content